


Tormund meets Rollo, or "MERDE!"

by grayspider1974



Category: Game of Thrones (TV), Vikings (TV)
Genre: F/M, Profanity, feces
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-25
Updated: 2016-08-25
Packaged: 2018-08-11 00:57:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7869031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grayspider1974/pseuds/grayspider1974
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Tormund, Husband to Bears meets Rollo the Crazy Bear, the feces begin to fly</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tormund meets Rollo, or "MERDE!"

**Author's Note:**

> I'm back from my summer holidays, and no children or bears (either four legged or the other kind) were harmed! Also, I do not own either Vikings or Game of Thrones, I write these for fun. Please do not sue me, blood eagle me, throw feces at me, or bear false witness against me!

Rollo enters a bar with Gisla. For the sake of brevity, let's call the bar the Circumpolar Club, and you can imagine any bar that you wish. Gisla heads to the washrooms, and Rollo orders two pickled eggs and a Faxe. Then Tormund from Game of Thrones enters.  
Rollo shouts "Hello! I am Rollo Lothbrook. They call me the Crazy Bear!"  
Tormund answers "Hello! They call me Tormund, The Husband To Bears!"  
"Why do they call you the Husband to Bears?" asks Rollo.  
"They call me that because I like to fuck bears!' says Tormund, as he steals one of Rollo's pickled eggs.  
Rollo says "Hmmmm?"  
Tormund says "Hrrrrrr?"  
Rollo says "Hmmm!" and steals back his pickled egg.  
Tormund says "It's gonna be a long winter, buddy!"  
Then Gisla dashes out of the washroom, shouts "MERDE!" and runs past them out of the bar.  
Rollo drinks his beer, takes a bite from his pickled egg, and says "I have a wife!"  
Tormund steals his other pickled egg and says "So do I, but she's hibernating!"  
"Hmmmmm!" says Rollo, as a hoard of rats comes running out of the wshrooms, and then a horrendous creaking as though the whole building is shifting.  
"How 'bout them Bruins?" Tormund asks.  
"I prefer les Canadians," says Rollo as the rats are followed by a swarm of cockroaches.  
Gisla reappears at the door of the Circumpolar Club and yells "Vite! Vite! Apres-moi, le deluge!"  
The creaking grows louder, and is accompanied by a curious rattling noise as the washroom door flies open, releasing a tidal wave of water and....merde.  
Gisla screams "TABERNAC!" and bolts.  
"It's DEFINITELY going to be a long winter!" says Tormud. He shoves the remaining pickled egg in his mouth, and he and Rollo both flee the premises.


End file.
